Six-Something.org

Oh no!

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 21, 2001  |  No Comments

I was browsing around the internet movie database the other day when I stumbled across Jason X. I wondered how this could be since Jason so obviously went to hell in ‘Jason goes to hell.’  Well,
after investigating a little further I was horrified that this one is to be set in space of all places. Now maybe I’m over reacting, but we have all seen what happened to the Leprechaun series once they decided to shoot Leprechaun in space. Well, even if Jennifer Aniston would have returned to the cast it still would have been horrible, but still not as bad as
Hobgoblins.

Yes, I realize this update sucks. But I couldn’t think of anything better for today.

B-Ball Y’all

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 20, 2001  |  No Comments

I don’t know about you, but I know that if I was playing a game of basketball versus a midget I wouldn’t bloody jump up. Unlike this dunderhead.

How much brain power must someone lack in order to think, “Ok, I’m 6′1″ and my opponent is 2′ 10″. I think my best bet would be to jump up as high as I can with my legs spread open to block the ball.” Yoink. That is when he zips though and shots a basket.

Or maybe it was just staged for a not so clever photo op. It is your call.

Moo Squared

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 18, 2001  |  No Comments

Tonight we have a very special Six-Something for you. A honest, nature produced, two faced calf. Thanks to Matt J. for letting me use these photos.

Who’s your daddy?

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 16, 2001  |  No Comments

I have to admit, love beating someone in 5 moves – 53 seconds in chess. Makes me feel like my last name should be Kasparov or something. Victory and humiliation is only sweetened when the victim was the one that Mr. Howell referred to as a skateboarding fat assed collection of pirated software.

I’m surprised people still fall for that maneuver.

Child Discipline

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 15, 2001  |  2 Comments

There is so much talk these days about child abuse vs. discipline. Back in the 1950’s if your kid said a naughty word you could just smack him across the face with a wooden spoon, and that was acceptable discipline. But now that is child abuse and the kid can just run to the police and you’ll find your ass in jail.

I think I have discovered a great way to discipline our children, without running the risk of getting tossed in jail for smacking them up. If I had kids, and one was misbehaving, I’d say something like this. “Now listen Jimmy. It isn’t nice to pull your sister’s pony tails. Now as a punishment I’ve booked a personal concert in your bedroom by the 1980’s rock band Shout.” This is when I pull out the cd cover shown to the right and hand it to my kids. One look at the big frizzy hair and sparkly clothing should be enough to set any little brat strait. I mean, look at these guys. If I ever got suckered into going to one of their shows, I hope the small cyanide capsule that is embedded in my upper right molar would not fail to discharge into my bloodstream giving me a quick, painless death. If they tried to shout in my face, I’m probably laugh, or vomit, in theirs.

Oh yeah, second guy from the left. Is that Jeff Daniels? Perhaps Jeff has a secret dark history that he isn’t telling us about.

The Horrible Truth about Ravioli

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 13, 2001  |  No Comments

There is something to be said about combining the effects of Butane with the human brain. The results of such mixtures can be extremely random, and extremely dangerous. What you are about to hear is an unstaged secret recording of one subject who accidentally overexposed his brain to butane. The following audio clip is a minute and forty-five second clip of about fifteen minutes or the horrible effects of butane on the brain. When confronted with the tapes the following day, the subject could not recollect speaking the words that have been spoken. Be advised, this audio contains horrible things like a certain four letter word that rhymes with duck.

[Butane Mp3 - 1.21 Mb]

Legos and the Third Reich

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 11, 2001  |  No Comments

Here is something I bet you never noticed. If you take two sets of lego man legs, and position them just right, they form a swastika. To illustrate this I will use four legs that I have modeled in Rhinoceros 3D and arrange them in a way that is doable with real sets of legs.

A) Two incomplete lego models to be used in this demonstration.
B) Anatomically correct legs arranged in front view.
C) Side view of figure B displaying swastika.

Now, is this just a coincidence, or a hidden meaning about Legos? You can make that decision next time your kid is assembling a little car made out of legos.

Be a failure

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 8, 2001  |  No Comments

Tomorrow when I awake, I shall start life anew under my new philosophical perspective on life. The new way that I will live my life will be that of successlessnessology. I know that you are wondering what successlessnessology is all about, so let me give you a quote that sums it up.

“Do your worst, so that others may succeed.” ~Some great person

I’ll explain it to you in a little more depth. Basically what I’ll do from now on try to fail, so it is easier for others to succeed, then bask in the warm feeling inside that comes from knowing that I helped others be happy.

Let me illustrate. Suppose I am bowling, there is two teams of 5, one of which I am on. If I try my hardest and my team wins, the amount of happiness looks like this,

4 happy Winners – 5 unhappy losers + 1 happy me = happiness index of 0

If I do my worst so that the other team wins it looks like this,

5 happy winners – 4 unhappy losers + 1 happy me = happiness index of 2

See, using successlessnessology, the amount of happiness is higher by 2. Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking “But then your team will beat you up for throwing the game.” Well, this is where the rock solid foundation of successlessnessology gets demonstrated. See, when your team beats you up, they become happy. Now, since they are now happy, the -4 in the formula above gets changed into a +4, meaning the happiness index is now at a maximum 10! See,
Successlessnessology doesn’t fail.

Once again, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “I see the undeniable truth about successlessnessology, but I’m just a poor college student, I don’t have the time to help people by failing.” This, my friend, is far from the truth. Many college professors nation wide grade their exams on a curve, what you can do is score as low as possible on your exams, lowering the curve, resulting in higher grades for everyone. For example, if you are asked to take the integral of
(X-6)/(e^x) on the interval between 5 and infinity, Write in for your answer “Britney Spear’s Clubbed Foot” Or if you are given an essay question that asks how the works of Ernest Hemingway influenced society in the 20th century, write for an answer “The Old Man and the Sea makes baby Jesus cry.” It is all very simple after you get the hang of it.

One last point on successlessnessology. You must pay a cash fee of $120USD every 2 months to be a part of the organization. A small amount to give for the amount of happiness that you will receive.