Six-Something.org

Child Discipline

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 15, 2001

There is so much talk these days about child abuse vs. discipline. Back in the 1950’s if your kid said a naughty word you could just smack him across the face with a wooden spoon, and that was acceptable discipline. But now that is child abuse and the kid can just run to the police and you’ll find your ass in jail.

I think I have discovered a great way to discipline our children, without running the risk of getting tossed in jail for smacking them up. If I had kids, and one was misbehaving, I’d say something like this. “Now listen Jimmy. It isn’t nice to pull your sister’s pony tails. Now as a punishment I’ve booked a personal concert in your bedroom by the 1980’s rock band Shout.” This is when I pull out the cd cover shown to the right and hand it to my kids. One look at the big frizzy hair and sparkly clothing should be enough to set any little brat strait. I mean, look at these guys. If I ever got suckered into going to one of their shows, I hope the small cyanide capsule that is embedded in my upper right molar would not fail to discharge into my bloodstream giving me a quick, painless death. If they tried to shout in my face, I’m probably laugh, or vomit, in theirs.

Oh yeah, second guy from the left. Is that Jeff Daniels? Perhaps Jeff has a secret dark history that he isn’t telling us about.