Six-Something.org

Zombies

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 24, 2001  |  No Comments

Sometimes I think about when the dead rise to have their feast on the living. About how the wreck havoc and terrorize the living by constantly assaulting them in ruthless hoards. I think about the pain and trauma that the survivors of these assaults have to deal with, which makes the whole idea of a zombie attack not something I’d like to endure. Then I think about the unlucky zombies who are trapped six feet below the ground in their coffins. While the rest of the zombies are out roaming free and terrorizing people, they are trapped in their dark little hole, unable to dig themselves out because they are so weak. One can’t help but feel sad for those such zombies.

When TV didn’t suck.

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 14, 2001  |  No Comments

Today I am proud to unveil the latest exhibit here at Six-Something.org. Our elite team of masterminds here have spent the last fifteen years preparing what is about to be released. They have traveled the globe an explored many uncharted lands to bring back some of the very best television advertisements from 1984 for your viewing
pleasure. Now to enter the exhibit just poke the evil care bear pictured to the left in the eye with your mouse pointer.

Creepy

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 7, 2001  |  No Comments

According to weather.com, weather is not applicable to my town. This is creepy, I mean I’ve lived my whole life with weather, and now it is gone. I feel so empty. Maybe I’ll just go to bed, and when I wake maybe the weather will have returned to this part of the world.

Reenactments

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 2, 2001  |  1 Comment

Last night I wandered down to our living room at about 1:00 AM. The television is tuned to TLC, and the show that is playing is Ancient Prophecies. I sit down and watch for a while until this little bit about Nostradamus comes up. They talk a little bit about how he was born sometime in the 1500’s and about his life. they talk about his room where he had most of his vision about the future, while at the same time showing a video clip of him sitting behind the desk writing notes onto a piece of parchment. What happened then would have made me spray Mountain Dew all over my cat if I was drinking Mountain Dew and he cat was in front of me. In the upper left part of the screen a little banner appeared that read
“Reenactment”.

I really fear for our humanity if the stupidification of humans that watch TLC has dropped to the point that they didn’t realize that the color motion camera was invented well after the 16th century. 

I just know the only reason that banner is there is because some dunderhead called them up asking how the full motion videos of the volcanic explosions survived the devastation after viewing the special “Pompeii: City of Death.” Much the same way there are signs that tell you not to eat the urinal cakes in public bathrooms. Odds are it was the same guy responsible for both signs.

Evolution

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 1, 2001  |  No Comments

It is kind of hard in these times to have a day pass where you don’t see some type of advertisement on the topic of hair loss. Some are of a person in their youth fearing for a future of being hairless. Yet others are of people who have lost their hair and because of loosing their hair, they have lost their self-esteem. Many of these people rely on products like Rogaine to help ease their fears, to regain self-esteem, and to dive into one end of a pool so they can emerge at the other end and give a big smile and thumbs ups. I think these products are killing evolution.

Consider this, back in the days before we had modern humans, there where some hairy ape-people things. I forget the scientific names, it has been a long time since I had anthropology. But anyway, we have these hairy ape-people things that migrate into the grasslands and start standing on two legs in order to see above the tall grass so that they can hunt efficiently. After this happens, the fur on their backs and asses starts to thin and disappear. The hair thinning continues to spread around the body until modern humans come along where the thinning process has only gotten up to the neck and most of the face. Now doesn’t it only seem logical that the natural hair loss should be working its way up on top of the head?

Maybe now the balding population won’t be at a loss of self esteem because they have no hair, but would rather be proud that they are further along in the great parade of evolution. Then we could all live happy together, until they decide to commit genocide on all of us fully haired folks so that they can wipe out us slow evolvers all together and take over the world as a new super race that has no need for hairspray, barbershops and shampoo.