Posted by Sjixxxy on January 13, 2002 | No Comments
Today I have another intense video game review for you. This time for a game that teaches diabetic children all about diabetes. For the rest of us, it teaches us the principles of spectactularly painful game design strategies.
Filed Under: Site Updates
Posted by Sjixxxy on January 10, 2002 | No Comments
Today’s update consists of a new video game review. This one for the game Circus Caper, a very very scary game for anybody with a fear of clowns.
On another note, here is a nice tip of the day I received from Power Tab software.
Filed Under: Site Updates
Posted by Sjixxxy on January 9, 2002 | No Comments
Today, some time around 2:30, I woke up and looked out my window. It appears that it has gotten warm enough outside to melt all the snow off of our lawn. Worse yet, the lawn is still green. Actually, it looks to be in better shape now then it did this summer. Putting the healthy green lawn aside, I pondered on the fact that in recent years, the winter season has been pretty sucktacular. Surely this couldn’t be a natural matter, so I decided it was time to figure out what has happened to winter in recent years.
The first step was to round up the usual suspects, so I had my people get in touch with Satan’s people. The word back from SIHA (Satanic Institute for Human Affairs) was that the dark lord has not touched winter in any way shape or form, and that all he wants to do is live free in his stygian underworld and work on his new web development venture. The contact for Satan then added that Mr. Satan wishes humans would quit using him as a scapegoat, and that they should start accepting the blame for their own actions instead of passing it on to him. Ruling out Satan, I then approached the next flavor of the month for blame, the terrorists. I ended up decided not to blame the terrorists on the matter because I didn’t want to be trendy. So it was onto scapegoat number three, but as I was dialing the number for Global Warming, I thought back to something someone said and the truth dawned on me.
Those Christmas in July sonsabitches are to blame. See, what I was told was “Just wait until March and April. That is when winter will come, and it will probably last until July.” Who celebrates wintery events in July? Nobody! Except for the Christmas in July cultists. Sure, they were not content with just celebrating Christmas in July, so now they have developed a device that is slowly bringing the winter cold and snow into July, thus robbing it from us who celebrate in December. I think it is time for a call to arms. We must discover where this device is being held and smash it into tiny bits and hand winter back over to nature.
Filed Under: Nature
Posted by Sjixxxy on January 6, 2002 | 1 Comment
Flashback to Thanksgiving 2001. Somebody at out annual family get together brings along the game Outburst, by Parker Brothers. Outburst is a game where a topic is given, along with ten terms that are related to it. The goal is for your team to get the most items off the list by bursting out answers that fit the subject. We quickly determined that this game sucks because our copy was from the eighties, so it was outdated. That, and that many of the categories and their answers are too difficult for us. When you are at a place where the highlight of the year for most of the people is the several gutted white tail deer carcasses hanging from the pole that is a mere fifty feet away, you can’t expect anybody to be able to shout out the names of ten french theater actors from before 1985. Any ways, after declaring the game a bomb, I start going though the question cards to see what kind of cock-eyed questions where being asked back in the eighties. Soon I hit a card that caught my interest. The category was “Cures for Insomnia.” Since I often am affected by insomnia I gave the card a looking hopes of finding an answer, or at the very least, a third party who says it is ok to take sixty milliliters of NyQuil every night of the year. I believe it was cure number six that first made me blink in astonishment. The cure for insomnia was none other then “go to sleep.” Yes, that is pretty much the same thing as going to a doctor about help with impotence, and he tells you to just get a hard-on. It just don’t work that way. Going to sleep is not a solution, it is a desired end result. I set that aside and kept reading the list, only to quickly be forced to blink twice in astonishment. The prescribed cure for Insomnia, according to Parker Brothers, was none other then death.
Death. The same cure prescribed to horses who break a leg. The same cure prescribed to infidels by the clergy in thirteenth century Europe. Death, now being prescribed to us who are having a little trouble getting some shut eye. After giving the subject a little bit of thought, it dawned on me what a powerful drug death is. Why should we spend billions in research for cures to diseases? The good people at Parker Brothers have shown through Outburst that death is a viable cure for insomnia. So why can we not apply this to other diseases? Just think about it, Herpes, Cancer, Dengue Fever, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, Leprosy, Toxoplasmosis, Boy Bands, Shingles, Hidradentis Suppurativa, Jock Itch, Gout, Meningitis, Diverticulitis, those diseases, plus many many more all share a common cure. Death. Parker Brothers, you are true heroes. For that I salute you.
Filed Under: Science/Technology