Bubble Bath Babes
Posted by Sjixxxy on November 19, 2001
Don’t you hate it when you really want to play nintendo, but the soft core porn on Cinemax has your attention and you really don’t want to stop watching it? Well, if you find yourself in this situation, then Bubble Bath Babes is the the ultimate game for you! What Bubble Bath Babes does is successfully merge the mental and physical swiftness that is used when playing a game like Tetris with the pointless sex and cheesy dialogue (and physical swiftness) of soft core porn. All of this is bundled up into the 8-bit ball of goodness that is Bubble Bath Babes.
Gameplay 
What lies beneath the layers of nakedness that is used to market this game to a demographic of sweaty virgins, is a fun and somewhat addictive puzzle game.
The story seems to be about this naked girl who is trapped in a room after having a few to many Taco Bell Chalupas. She keeps flatulently releasing these different colored bubbles that float up and get stuck to the ceiling. Your job is to play the air currents and get bubbles of the same color to touch in groups of four or more. When this happens the bubbles burst and the flatulent air is dissipated away safely. Then any unbursted bubbles above the newly made spaces collapse into them which can lead to more bubbles bursting, and this process continues in a massive orgy of bubble bursting until no more color combinations are met. If you fail to do keep popping bubbles, the bubbles will accumulate and eventually suffocate their own creator by smothering her with her own rancid Chalupa induced methane.
I would also like to note that the bubbles look strangely similar to Pokémon balls, but I ruled out the possibility that they where Pokémon balls. I mean, who would have hundreds of Pokémon balls up their ass?
The Girls
The game has a very simple level structure. First you play two levels where the bubbles rise reallyslow. After these levels you get to meet a girl. Then you play two more levels where the bubbles rise at a slightly faster rate. Then the girlyou met strips down to her underwear. Then you play two more levels where the speed of the bubbles is amplified about thirty times. After these levels,you get to see the girl completely buck ass naked. Then you repeat the whole process over again with a new girl. Now that you know the way ofthe game, let us meet the prizes.
 Bubbling Bunny
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 Sudsy Suzy
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 Hot Tub Tina
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 Champagne Charlene
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–Bubbling Bunny
- Turn-ons: Kittens, Flowers, Dirty car mechanics with oil stained hands.
- Turn-offs:Democracy, Hot dogs, Canada
- Favorite Hobby: Stealing creamed corn from the local Pamida.
- STDs: Scabies, Gonorrhea
- Fun Fact: She can tell you what 2 to the power of any number up to 64 is off the top of her head.
–Sudsy Suzy
- Turn-ons: Fly Larvae, Anything made in Taiwan. The Greek Alphabet
- Turn-offs: Sleep, Currency, The FORTRAN programming language.
- Favorite Hobby: Confusing the hell out of her senile grandmother.
- STDs: The Clap.
- Fun Fact: Right arm has aboslutely no feeling whatsoever.
–Hot Tub Tina
- Turn-ons: Short Busses, Black Powder, 18th Century European Politics
- Turn-offs: Recycling, Hygiene, You.
- Favorite Hobby: Sending letters to random people that read “If you want to seethe brat alive again you will leave $12,000 in the garbage can in the park.”
- STDs: Syphilis, Crotch Crickets
- Fun Fact: Never has been in a hot tub.
–ChampagneCharlene
- Turn-ons: Violent cartoons, Sadness, Abe Lincoln
- Turn-offs: Electricity, Champagne, Three letter words.
- Favorite Hobby: Collecting small vials of deadly diseases.
- STDs: Genital warts
- Fun Fact: Brutally murdered the last person who told her that her dressdidn’t match her shoes.
In Conclusion
First, the music. If you ever encounter this game, stay away from music B. Music B seems to be a bastardized version of Start Spreading The News that gets very old, and very nerve wracking very quickly. I had to fight hard not to give into my feelings of anger that where generated by this music. Music A is much better in that it didn’t make me want to start beating baby ducklings to death with assorted automobile parts. In the end however, both of the songs lost out to my mp3 collection.
Secondly, the credits. Two things about the credits of this game struck me as odd. One, there where no Japanese names. Secondly, nobody had last names. The games was planned by Tricia, and the Graphic (Yes, Graphic in the singular sense) was done by Kathy. I know a lady named Kathy, next time I see her I am going to have to compliment her on her graphic since I can only assume it must be her. The best of these credits goes out to Jack. Jack is the special guy who received a thanks. Thanks for what? Getting his sisters to pose for Kathy to make her graphic? The ending credits where a little ambiguous, but I think Charlene was being quite obvious enough that we can figure out how the story to this game ends.
The Final Verdict
Be glad that Doctor Mario never got naked in his puzzle game.
PS: If you are wondering where the uncensored completely naked screenshots are, I’m making you play the game yourself to get them if you want them.
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