Six-Something.org

Space Aged

Posted by Sjixxxy on December 10, 2005  |  2 Comments

Here is a quick tip for any marketing people out there. Quit using the term “Space Age . . ” to describe your products. All that really means is that it was built with technology created after 1957. 1957 was a while back now, it doesn’t exactly mean *new and awesome* anymore. You’re just making yourself sound dumb.

Joan of Beans

Posted by Sjixxxy on July 5, 2005  |  3 Comments

A quick list of things I wish to accomplish in my life;

I want these things for one reason, and one reason alone.

I want all these things so that five centuries later, some corporation can use my name and my deeds to implicate the awesome standard of quality & excellence in the beans that they are trying to sell.

It would all be worth it.

Murder on the 4th

Posted by Sjixxxy on July 4, 2005  |  No Comments

When you really think about it, in America, the fourth of July would probably be the best day of the year to shoot somebody if you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. Everyone will just think that you are shooting off some huge fireworks.

Even better would be if you shot a Brit. Then there would be some historical context to go along with the murder.

Support Our . . .

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 15, 2005  |  1 Comment

This ribbon sponsored by The Committe for Awareness of Constipated Americans, or CACA for short.

Bad Driver/Good Driver

Posted by Sjixxxy on January 9, 2005  |  1 Comment

A simple question. Are there any states/provinces where the residence of the neighboring states/provinces can drive?

I know in Wisconsin, it was always a case of “Stupid FIB! Learn to drive or stay off our roads!” when Illinois plates were encountered, and the similar responses when Minnesota plates were encountered. Cross the Minnesota/Wisconsin border and it was pretty much the same. Wisconsin & Iowa drivers don’t know how to drive.

I just wonder, if somewhere out there, there is a place where the boarding drivers are admired? Like if a Nebraska family is driving down the road, and get passed by a car with Colorado plates, does the driver ever go “Look here kids. This truck passing us is from Colorado. Observe how well he maneuvers his vehicle with a grace and agility what we could never hope to achieve being from Nebraska. What a great day.”

Anyway, want to know who can’t drive? Those wimpy warm state people. What driving skills can be learned if the most you ever have to deal with is a little rain? pffft.

Junk Mail

Posted by Sjixxxy on November 8, 2002  |  4 Comments

Typically when a piece of junk mail arrives in my inbox, it gets removed very quickly. A few months ago I received some junk mail which consisted of nothing more then two .gifs. Curiosity got the best of me so I opened up the images. What blessed my eyes was the following images.

With all honestly, I can say that these are the single two worst Asian weight loss advertisements I’ve ever seen in my existence. The greatness of these Internet gems is so grand that I don’t even have to make up a stupid story to make them funny.

No news is exciting news.

Posted by Sjixxxy on November 7, 2002  |  1 Comment

Today I offer to you an opportunity to read this clipping that I acquired from a local newspaper. Hopefully the explosive amount of pity within your body that you feel as a result will be so great that you will no longer care that this site hasn’t been updated in four months. Then you will send me money.

You better watch out.

Posted by Sjixxxy on June 27, 2002  |  2 Comments

These are the lyrics to the popular Christmas song “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” written by Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots in 1934. I know that at least one time in my life I have been forced to sing this song in front of a crowd of relatives against my will like some kind of disfigured chimp who must do flips and cartwheels for the passersby on the sidewalk before his master will give him a shiny new toy to play with. I’m also sure that millions of other children since 1935 have had similar grueling experiences. Because of this great tradition of humiliation, this song has become deep rooted in our culture as a pleasant way to celebrate the holiday season. Stepping outside of it all and looking back in on the song I wonder just what kind of message is this song sending to our children? Examine carefully the lyrics of the third verse.

He sees you when you’re sleepin’
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

I don’t know about you, but to me this doesn’t sound like the actions of somebody I want hanging around my neighborhood. In fact, these sound more like the actions of the person who sent me this particular spam e-mail. Seems kind of strange that the guy keeping an eye on this Adriana chick can face criminal charges if caught, yet we happily make our children sing about a fat ass in a red suit who does the exact same thing.

Santa Claus: Bringing joy and happiness to children? Or a Pedaphile/Voyeur?

I am a weak, pathetic, webmaster

Posted by Sjixxxy on April 16, 2002  |  7 Comments

Well, site has been a little on the dead side lately. Well I’ll lay the blame on a few issues. 1) I’m somewhat lazy. 2) Good content takes brainpower and work, something I feel a little short on right now. Now if this was generic Blogger I could write about my days happenings and the site would have more posts, but then nobody would care about the content. Well, since it is late, and this site needs an update, I’m just going to invent a character and make a mock Blogger post describing their day as a way to poke fun at the Blogger community. I’ll probably look at this sometime tomorrow and shake my head in shame. Let us call our character _.-~`-||Geo||-`~-._.
_.-~`-||Geo||-`~-._ will be an 18 year old female college freshman with a negative attitude.

_.-~`-||Geo||-`~-._’s Weblog for 4-15-02. OMG!! I can hardly beleive today! It was like soooooooooo weird. First I woke up at 10:23 and went to my interpersonal communication class which was at 11. Well, I didn’t pay much attention since the proff, who I like to call Mrs. Bitch was just up there by her little podium spouting a bunch of words about stuff, but I didnt’ care because it was SOOOO BOORING!!!!! So I just sat in the back of the room a carved ‘Mushroomhead’ into the desk next to the Andrew W.K. etching that I did last week. They are both such InnoVative bands that everyone one should listen too because their music will change the world!!!!!!!!!!

Well, after I left Mrs. Bitch’s class I went to get something to eat down at the White Castle. On the way to White Castle I walked past this old guy who smelled like vingear and chives or something. ACK! He was probably starting at my chest that old sick-o. I’m glad I’m young and will never get old because I’ll probably die after Georgie Bush the VI Will blow up the US somehow.

But once I got into the WC, I got my food and sat down. 12 minutes later I left full of meat that is probably made up of cat, or zebra, or steer or something.

. . .

Oh sack of crap, I can’t go on with this anymore. I can’t even invent a fake Blog and make it interesting enough to keep my own attention. Now that my poke at humor has bottomed out, there is only one way for it to go, right back up.

Jelly Hells

Posted by Sjixxxy on March 25, 2002  |  1 Comment

New for oh-two! It is the latest line of Jelly Belly Beans!
I can feel my mouth watering. Can you feel yours?

Eh? Well, Its been a while, I figured anything was better then letting you think I was dead. I have a pretty big concept for this site going on on my head that will be an assload of fun if I can get it running. Stay tuned. . .

Oxymoron

Posted by Sjixxxy on March 7, 2002  |  2 Comments

Today is Stupid Photo Friday, even though it is really Thursday.

I try not to just post stupid pictures by themselves and call it content, but in this case, I took the photo myself. That makes it a special case where I can do this without making up some stupid story or theory to go with it. Now, anybody want to take bets on if the logo will be removed if this photo ever shows up elsewhere?

Britney Spears: Saleswoman

Posted by Sjixxxy on February 12, 2002  |  1 Comment

All right kiddies. Here is a quick lesson on how not to sell your goods on eBay. I was digging though eBay not to long ago looking for this old coin from 1935 Germany since my have one just like it in our house. I ended up finding it on eBay, but the photos supplied (right) were so damn awful that I entered into a blood lusting rage of confusion.

Now it isn’t uncommon to see a novice photographer take a picture of the item where there is a big old glare across its plastic case which makes the product hard to see, but how in the hell can somebody take a photo that looks like the camera just put down three forty ounce bottles of Camo High Gravity Lager, and yet, still use them with hopes to sell the product. One would think that the first rule of displaying a picture of the product that one is trying to sell, would be to make the product not look like beer can that Marlon Brando has been sitting on for an hour causing it to melt under the pressure and take on the texture of his ass.

With photos this craptacular, a little help is in order to make this product sell (btw: it failed to sell on eBay), which is why I turned the photos over to the Six-Something department of sales and marketing in the west wing of our complex to see what they could do to help the coin sell. Putting the top five staff member on the case they went to work and decided on an überleet marketing strategy to sell the coin. Here is what they returned to my office later that day.