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New Fantasia

Posted by Sjixxxy on December 3, 2001

What do Uncle Fester, Robocop, Sadam Hussain and Pornography all have in common? Not much, expect that they are all packaged into the machine of copyright infringement bliss that is New Fantasia.

I really am at a loss of words with this game. There isn’t any weak plots or logic fallacies to pick at in this game, but the game itself is riddled with so many oddities that I am left wondering if I really played this game, or if those Mickey Mouse stickers that that unclean guy gave me today where really tabs of acid. Since I have the screen shots, and I can’t fathom there being acid strong enough to induce a hallucination as potently awkward as this game, I know that it did happen. I did play a game where Yasser Arafat and Robocop team up to see pornographic images of kick boxers. I’m scarred from this experience.

“I will must translate game poorly”

You start the game by getting a small helping of bad engrish, and then selecting your favorite celebrity character. Then you select the girl that you want to see naked. The play of the game itself is just a take-off of the classic game Qix with a few additions that I couldn’t figure out. For example, if the meter at the top of the screen crossed dropped into the green area, the image you are trying to uncover would turn into something more sinister, like Pinhead. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t for the life of me figure why the meter would sometime go up, and sometime go down. One of life’s little mysteries I guess. Another thing about this game that wasn’t present in Qix is hearing a girl moaning out in sexual pleasure every time a portion of the playing field is claimed by the player. That, and all the titties and reproductive organs you get to see.

Beyond all the T&A, I find the music in this game to be quite fun, especially since it is just looped samples of Roy Orbison and Ace of Bass to name a few. I also feel pretty certain that they where used unlicensed, which is even better, because the whole illegal concept just makes the game that much more exciting. Doesn’t it?

I know I love a girl in protective boxing gear.

Finish the board and you get to see Pinhead’s rack.!

In Conclusion, I apologize for this being a pretty lightweight review. I am hoping that just the sheer madness (like Yasser Arafat in love) of this game will be enough for a good laugh, or a nice sized bit of confusion

The Final Verdict
If you have ever played this, you where at a truck stop.

Even world leaders need a little love. Even if they must destroy Robin Williams to get it.