Six-Something.org

The Majik Man

Posted by Sjixxxy on January 24, 2005

The other day I was sitting around in my advanced high-tech philosochamber, letting it aid my brain in the pondering and reasoning of life’s great riddles, when one very profound question came into my head. “How many points could Don Majkowski score singlehandedly against the Minnesota Vikings?” It seemed obvious that the world needed to know the answer to this question, so I removed my thinking cap, and slipped into my best lab coat to figure it out in a highly scientific manner.

A quick history of Majkowski. He was the Green Bay Packer’s QB in the late 80’s who had one good season that almost got the team to the playoffs which earned him the nickname “The Majik Man.” Then one game in early 1992, he got injured and this little benchwarmer named Faver, or Farve, or something with a vee in it came in and The Majik Man hasn’t been seen since.

Well, now that you know that, back to the extremly accurate scientific experiment. The extremly accurate scientific experiment was all ready to go, and would have given unquestionable results, but two key components couldn’t be obtained.

1) The Majik Man. He couldn’t get reached, even after a killer bribe offer case a Twinkies, and an actual unaltered photograph of Britney Spears naked.

2) Crystals made from rare Earth materials. I got outbid on eBay on them.

With such critical components missing, I had to run the test using the best simulation method known to man. Tecmo Super Bowl.

The game was played with one rule imposed. Nobody on Green Bay’s offense is allowed to handle the ball, except for Don Majkowski. Kick returners, and defensive persons who manage to get their hands on the ball may as well, but with minimal effort, for this is Donnie’s big day.

The simulation computer was configured, and we let it run for many days as its vacuum tubes and transisters determined the outcome. Finally after day 11, the results were in.

The Majik Man can pack away twelve touchdowns versus the Minnesota Viking. The world can rest easy now.

I also do not want to rob you off the graceful ballet that is Don Majkowski’s scrambling abilities, I’ve arranged it so you can view the footage youself. You just need to follow these simple instructions.

1. Download, and run this emulator.
2. Download this ROM (but don’t tell anyone where you got it from) and open it with the emulator.
3. Download this replay file and load it in the emulator via File->Replay Movie
4. Enjoy!

Note: This is an emulated movie, so words like “scientific”, “evidence” and “fact” are used in the same manner as a Creation Scientist would use them. Use your best discretion.