Another Conspiracy Unraveled

Posted on May 19, 2001 - Society/Culture - 1 Comment

There is one little thing about our society that has had me perplexed for a few years now. What continues to baffle me is how come when I need to go down some narrow corridor or go through a doorway, and at the same time, another person also needs to use the corridor or doorway. They then always say something along the lines of "I'm sorry" or "Oops" when it becomes apparent that only one of us is going to make it through at a time. Or if we both go, it will be a tight fit.

To me, I just see the situation as two people who need to use that same passage at the same time. So why does this warrant the other person to feel as if they have wronged me in some way for moving through the space that I need to pass through? I know in this situation I never feel compelled to apologize to the person. I just hold up and wait my turn.

So why does this happen to me? Well, since I haven't taken the time to consult any other individuals on this topic to determine if this is isolated to me, or a phenomenon that is happening throughout our culture, I will jump to the conclusion that this only happens to me since it fits my theory more nicely. So based on these observations, and my current evidence that this only happens to me, I have concluded the following. I must be some individual, that because of my birthright, will some day be the ruler of a great society. Except that everybody in the world knows this except for me so that my mind isn't corrupted by dreams of power. This must be the reason why people feel guilty for delaying my course of actions by one second.

Now that I have all of you bastards figured out, come clean and explain all my birthright to me. No more need to live life like The Truman Show. Let us build an empire.

1 Comment


Starwind - January 30, 2003, 12:09 AM

This happens to me all the time. I’ll be walking down the hall and someone will brush by me or get within an inch of me, and have instantly committed mortal sin. They have no resolve but to exclaim, “Sorry,” while I’m thinking, “How did you ever walk down a hall before you came here?” Is it this way in extremely crowded cities, like New Delhi or Tokyo? Is there a constant chorus of pardons and whoopsies? Maybe I just have an anti-personal space barrier that slides through other peoples barriers like…something that goes through something really fast.

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