Operation Omni

I’m sitting in my office at the 6So financial division a few days ago when this guy walks in who I have never seen this guy before in my life. He is rather big, maybe 6′ 4″ 230 pounds. His left eye looked lazy, he had a bad comb-over, and he smelled heavily of vinegar. Before I had a chance to grab my spiked club(+2) to scare him away, he looks around and says very loudly “Well sodomize me on ice-skates! Are we the only people around here who doesn’t have a reality based TV show? Jesus, I feel like I’m stuck in 1999. Next thing I know Jesse Camp will have a career again!” At this time he looks at me strait in the eye and commands me to have a reality based TV show on his desk by the end of the week. Then he takes what is left of the courtesy mints on my desk, and exits the room.

Now, as I sit there wondering just what in the hell just happened, the seed that the mystery man planted in my head begins to sprout. After a day of vigorous brainstorming (and several packs of kickers), I had my reality based TV show.

Operation Omni

Operation Omni is an adventure of five everyday adult human beings who are brought together and placed in a Dodge Omni somewhere in south Nevada. Unlike other reality based shows, the contestants are not voted out of the car. Operation Omni is a true survivor series in that the only way a contestant is removed from the contest is by leaving the Omni under their own volition by making contact with the ground outside the car. The rules are simple, but the contestants must deal with a few key circumstances.

• A two hundred dollar per person budget.
• The Omni is outfitted with a glove box full of Alabama eight tracks. And a barely adequate player.
• The Omni’s heater is stuck in the high setting.

Dealing with these circumstances will be great entertainment as the contestants are not allowed to touch the ground outside of the Omni for any reason, including having to relieve themselves.

In the end, the final contestant who hasn’t exhausted his budget, and has not been murdered by another contestant, will be named victorious and will receive the Omni as a grand prize.

The Contestants

Name: Stu Montgomery
Age: 20
From: Allegan, MI
Occupation: The employee at Blockbuster who knows everything about every movie starring Bill Pullman.

Name: Arturo Anspach
Age: 26
From: Bensalem, PA
Occupation: Book salesman by day. The guy always spotted at the corner of 3rd and Sweeny who gives orders to the street light by night.

Name: Faye Tibbetts
Age: 27
From: Caddo Mills, TX
Occupation: Dental Hygienist who everyone thinks is some kind of criminal.

Name: Donald Grizzle
Age: 25
From: Elyria, OH
Occupation: Tuxedo Salesman and Party clown

Name: Bill Pullman
Age: 47
From: Hornell, NY
Occupation: Actor

The season will run for fourteen episodes and features some of the following highlight events:

• Donald and Stu argue for five consecutive hours over who likes the movie ‘Santa with Muscles‘ more.
• While being on a caffeine binge in the middle of a fifteen hours driving shift, Faye blacks out. When she awakens she has developed a formula that could allow humans to travel faster than light in interstellar travel.
• Arturo eats Bill Pullman’s foot while he sleeps.
• Bill bitch slaps Stu.
• The fun that follows Stu’s case of explosive diarrhea.
• Faye’s repeated attempts to show what has been modified by her “operation.”