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New Fantasia

Posted on December 3, 2001 - Arts/Entertainment - 0 Comments

What do Uncle Fester, Robocop, Sadam Hussain and Pornography all have in common? Not much, except that they are all packaged into the machine of copyright infringement bliss that is Comad & New Japanese System's New Fantasia.

Ugh

I am at a loss for words with this game. There isn't any weak plots or logical fallacies to pick at in this game, but the game itself is riddled with so many oddities that I am left wondering if I actually played this game, or if those Mickey Mouse stickers that that unclean guy gave me today were really tabs of acid. Since I have the screen shots, and I can't fathom there being acid strong enough to induce a hallucination as potently awkward as this game, I know that it did happen. I did play a game where Yasser Arafat and Robocop team up to see pornographic images of kick boxers. I'm scarred from this experience.

List of Madness

Figure A - Time to terminate some pussy
Figure A - Time to terminate some pussy

You start the game by getting a small helping of bad engrish, and then select your favorite celebrity character. [Fig A] Then you choose the girl that you want to see naked. [Fig B] The play of the game itself is just a knock-off of the classic game Qix with a few additions that I couldn't figure out. For example, if the meter at the top of the screen crossed dropped into the green area, the image you are trying to uncover would turn into something more sinister, like Pinhead. [Fig C] No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't for the life of me figure why the meter would sometimes go up, and sometimes go down. One of life's little mysteries I guess. Another thing about this game that wasn't present in Qix is hearing a girl moaning out in sexual pleasure every time a portion of the playing field is claimed by the player. That, and all the titties and reproductive organs you get to see.

Enjoy With Me!
Figure B

Beyond all the T&A, I find the music in this game to be quite fun, especially since it is just looped samples of Roy Orbison and Ace of Bass to name a few. I also feel pretty certain that they were used unlicensed, which is even better because the whole illegal concept just makes the game that much more exciting. Doesn't it?

Pinhead!
Figure C: Finish the board and you get to see Pinhead

In Conclusion

In Conclusion, I apologize for this being a pretty lightweight review. I am hoping that just the sheer madness (like Yasser Arafat in love [Fig D]) of this game will be enough for a good laugh or a nice sized bit of confusion

The Final Verdict

If you have ever played this, you were at a truck stop.

Yasser in love
Figure D: Even world leaders need a little love. Even if they must destroy Robin Williams to get it.

Tags: Video Games

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