The Church of Hollywood Fundamentalist Extras

Posted on December 16, 2004 - Philosophy/Religion - 0 Comments

Suicide bombers are a crazy lot, no? They have been indoctrinated enough to believe that blowing themselves up is the right thing to do. Though this is usually pretty horrible as a lot of people end up getting hurt in the process. However, I think Hollywood could take a lesson from these people. Hollywood should look and realize that with enough religious indoctrination, that humans are dumb enough to do very crazy things for as little as promising a big pile of poontang in the afterlife. They could use this trait of wanting to die freely not for hated and violence, but to make cinema better.

Think of all the times you have been watching a movie, and one of the villains’s goons, or unnamed henchmen runs out and gets shot. A movie with a good budget might make it up with squibs to look decent, and a low budget movie may just have the guy spazz out and fall over without a wound. Then there is the first Mad Max. With neither squib technology, or the want to cop out and just have someone fake getting hit, they bought a very inexpensive bullet, and shot the special effects director in the knee with it to give the scene the extra touch of realism.

Now combine the ideas in the last two paragraphs, and we have The Church of Hollywood Fundamentalist Extras. The church would consist of hordes upon hordes of cloned humans indoctrinated from the day they are created to believe that their only reason for being is their holy duty to get wounded, maimed, or die in Hollywood cinema as an extra. Gone will be the days of bad CGI effects and third rate makeup artists as there are thousands of people literally dying to play the roles of “Gunman #1″ and “Teenager doing ecstasy on rooftop #3.” These actors will do their part with complete conviction, and will demand no payments. The quality of cinema has nothing to lose.

One quick note for the naysayers. Remember, clones have no souls and Jesus hates them. So it is perfectly moral to kill them for our amusement. You can’t argue with logic that sound.


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