The Prayer Rug

This letter came in the mail today.

I wasn’t sure what to expect opening this letter, but the contents were great! Mail order prayer for pretty much anything you want. And a fee isn’t even required. All of the images have high resolution links to them if you wish to read the small print.

The Testimonials

They lost me right here. I can’t trust anyone with hair that big.

On the backside of Mr. Bad-hair, we have this lady…

…who is also full of poop.

The included letter/form.

The Rug

And finally! The Prayer Rug! You are suppose to look at this thing until Jesus opens his eyes, then make a prayer.

Fine enough, except that it isn’t really a rug, it is a piece of plain printed paper. This “rug” wouldn’t last a day in our foyer soaking up the wet from our shoes.

I also don’t like that it is soaked in prayer. I think it may rub off and discolor my socks.

Well. I was going to fill the stuff out, and send it back, but probably won’t. See, my brain kind of rushed in, and took two approaches to the humor, which I don’t think make sense together. And I have standards I need to live up too. But I’ll show my work anyways.

My first idea was to just be simple and fill out the prayer form and send it back. I filled it out, it may or may not be funny. Here is the filled out form.

My other idea was pretend that a child got a hold of the rug, and did child like things to it. Here is the modified rug, along with the child’s note.

Much more clever I thought, but considering the drawing doesn’t look very childish, and that the handwriting matches the handwriting on the form, these scam artists would be onto me. Remember, I have standards to hold on to.